Apartmentalizing

Oh God. It's upon me. The apartment nightmares. Have begun the hunt, and let me tell you, the hopes for an awesome place downtown with enough "character" to make it affordable are rapidly and painfully dying.

Broker 1: thought our 2pm was at 2:30. Confirmed location to meet at 1:43. Informed me at 2:05 to meet her across the street at another building because the original apartment (which she couldn't even recall) had already rented. In the last 30 min, apparently.

Apt 1: a "doplex" (gotta love Craigslist spelling) on the 6th floor of a walkup. Apartment is a generous term. Downstairs was a 10x10 room with a sink, a bathroom, and a pulled-out-of-the-wall stove. Upstairs (aka "the bedroom") was a space so small it didn't even fit a twin bed.

Price: $2700/month, but "I'll give it to you for $2500."

Am now waiting on broker #2. For 35mins.

After our game of hide-n-seek in Union Square, I had begun to sense that logistics were not Roma’s strong suit.  This hunch was confirmed when she informed us that our next stop would be 18th Street and 2nd Avenue (don’t worry, she assured us, we’d come back to Chelsea later.  If we could still WALK.)

After stopping for watermelon along the way (which we paid for ourselves), we arrived at a lovely brownstone with a gleaming lobby.  Much friendlier!  Unfortunately, the tenant was not.  In fact, she wouldn’t let us in, despite the fact that an open house was definitely listed for that day.  Strike one.

Being our spirited selves, C and I bucked up and walked up to 24th Street and 3rd Avenue, C walking on the back of her tennis shoes because our masochist broker had no remedy for her blisters.  While Roma had called that morning and confirmed our visit with “Ken,” the doorman didn’t seem to know “Ken,” or to care for that matter, and wouldn’t let us in.  Strike two.  Read on for Strike 3...

In the last two days, I've emailed 27 different Craigslist posters.  I've gotten a pretty good response rate, and have about 7 different viewings scheduled for the next two days. (Get excited, Apartmentalizers, for some depressing pictures of the "BEST DEAL YOU WILL FIND GOING FAST TRUE 1BR FOR ONLY $1700/MONTH"-type apartments)

One of the more sketchy responses I've gotten is from the poster of an apartment on Mott St.  Now, I've ONLY searched in the "apartments by owner" section of Craigslist, and I've ONLY gotten responses from brokers, so riddle me that. Anyway, I'm meeting this poster tomorrow at 3:30 on the corner of Mott and Prince.  I asked what the person looks like so that I wouldn't be approaching randos on the corner (far be it from me to appear like a hooker).  The response?

"I will recognize you."

Um.  How?

Now excuse me as I Google myself and change my Facebook privacy settings.

 

You thought we were kidding?  You thought we were just jaded New Yorkers who were giving brokers and the NY rental scene a bad name, huh?  Yeah, don't lie.  We know.

Well, with so many of our friends moving to NY this summer, we're getting flooded with amazing / horror-movie-ready stories.  Take A, C, and L, three beautiful, intelligent, and, dare I say, optimistic (gasp!) women moving to NY.  This past weekend they ventured to NY to find a space for the three of them.  And lucky you, apartmentalizers, they chronicled their un-be-lievable journey!  Over the next few days, we will be posting their hilarious (sorry ladies, it is) and painful experiences with the NYC scene.  A big thank you to our fantastic guest bloggers!

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Saturday:

A:  Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, C and I hit the pavement on Saturday afternoon.  Our mission: hunt down and secure a charming 3-bedroom apartment in a prime location, where, along with the lovely L, we’ll embark on posh Manhattan lives full of debonair suitors, dogs that fit in purses, and eco-friendly cleaning services.  Now, we three nice girls next door just need a Samantha in our lives.  Being the savvy businesswomen and negotiators that we are, C and I set up appointments with not one, but two, brokers.  (Mua-ha-ha, WE’LL show THEM!)  Read on...

Oh. My. GOD!  This architect in Hong Kong created 24 rooms out of a 344 sq. ft. apartment with unbelievable sliding walls, the most creative combination of spaces, and gorgeous use of mirrors and light.  I've never seen anything like this!  Guy Kawasaki posted a video of it, but I've grabbed it so you can check it out here.  I mean, if I could do that in NYC, I'd live like a queen!